So as a Christian, I could never understand why the atheists and other nonbelievers considered us such assholes. All my friends were cool. Sure, there were a few Christians out there who may be a little on the obnoxious side, but they still were guided by love, right?
Now that I'm a doubter, and "in the closet", I totally understand. I've thought through the process of coming out several times over the last few weeks, and thought about what sort of response I'd receive. It's kind of scary. Maybe nothing at all would change, but I kinda doubt it. Some things would change. I won't venture to guess from who, but out of all of our friends, I suspect we'd get ostracized by at least a few of them. I'd also be afraid of how it would affect my job. I work in a company where at least half of the employees seem to go to the same church as my boss, and they're all very outspoken about their faith. In the employee handbook, my boss states that he'd never discriminate against someone for their beliefs, but he'd be happy to talk to anyone about his if they wanted to. He's a truly nice guy, but I really wonder if my potential at the company would be the same if I was out of the closet compared to staying in.
It's funny how just changing your mind about something can make you afraid for your job and your friendships. I now understand why a friend of mine moved to Oregon just because it was the least religious of the states in the U.S. I thought it was silly at the time, but it makes sense to me now. The more and more I doubt, the more I realize that life as a nonbeliever in the Bible belt is going to be challenging.
Actually, what scares me the most is how life will be for my daughter. Christians... my buddies... really do start to seem like assholes when I think about how they'll probably treat my daughter for not being a part of their group. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt until something specific happens, but I can't say that my outlook is good.
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