I've been out of town for about a week. During my trip, I read the first 50% of The God Delusion (TGD). I have to say that I'm actually liking Dawkins a little bit. When I first encountered him on youtube and Ben Stein's movie Expelled, I thought he was an arrogant asshole. Looking back, I think I felt that way because he very confidently and matter-of-factly dismissed my dearly held beliefs as absurd, childish, and silly. Now that I'm looking at the world a little more open mindedly, I actually find him to be a fairly easy to listen to guy.
As I read through the book, I didn't feel offended, but rather inspired to think and question. I like that he admits where science currently doesn't have a good answer, such as how the universe and matter originated. I can accept that just because we don't have an answer now, doesn't mean that we won't eventually.
There are many places, though, where he talks about evolution as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. I understand, in principle, how it works, but I'm not quite to the point where I can "see" how life comes from chemicals, or how a series of minor changes can bridge the "irreducably complex" gaps that the creationists love to harp on. It's not that I don't think I can understand that. I'd just like more information, and maybe some more examples. I'm sure those subjects would take books upon books to cover, and I don't blame Dawkins for glossing over the details when he only has a chapter to dedicate to the topic. I just need to dig in and find more information on that myself.
Ironically, reading his book has actually brought me a little bit closer to favoring the possibility of some sort of a God or creator. That may be a bit of an overstatement. I guess a better way to put it is that I don't have as much confidence in his point of view on the origin of the universe, or on the origin of life, as I have in his criticisms of the accuracy of the Bible, or the fact that the Bible seems to be anything but a perfect source of morals. Because of that, I'm temporarily changing the scope of my research. Rather than take a timeout to study up on science to the point where I can really understand evolution, or the lack of requirement for a creator, I think I want to limit my current question to "Does the God of the Bible exist, and is the Bible His complete and accurate word?" I'm becoming more and more satisfied that the Bible is full of contradictions and ugliness, so assuming that I end up making the conclusion that the Bible is not the true word of God, then I'll feel free to widen the question to "Does any God exist?"
I know a lot of atheists out there are probably wondering why, if I'm starting to think that the Christian God doesn't exist, would I wonder if some other God exists. All I can say is that I want to be thorough and cautious, and it's pretty hard to undo 37 years of beliefs in just a few weeks.
On a side note, I have noticed one amusing thing about the process. When I was a Christian, it was always difficult for me to find the motivation to read my Bible. I've always loved reading fiction. To make sure I read my Bible, I used to just enforce the rule that I could not read any fiction in a day until I'd read 1 chapter of the Bible. I had to force myself to concentrate, and much of the time I ended up going through the motions, moreso than actually reading and taking the message to heart. The New Testament was a little easier, but all the lineages and such in the OT were just boring, and I could never understand how they were supposed to be important to my life. On the other hand, now that I'm reading books like TGD and The God Virus (TGV), I can't wait to get home and read. I spend hours a day reading, because I want to. I've quit playing any games on my PS3, because I am excited to read as much as I can to help me figure out what my life is all about.
Question 26 on godisimaginary.com asks "Why doesn't a book written by God leave you with a sense of wonder and amazement?" Although there have been a few times in my Christian life where the Bible left me feeling some awe and amazement, much more of the time I didn't feel that way at all. The OT mostly left me feeling confused or even doubtful. TGD and TGV, on the other hand, are thoughtful almost through and through. How could a book written by an omniscient being be dull and confusing, and books written by mere mortals captivate my attention so well?
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